Have your family meetings ever ended with someone walking out — or with you carrying the load once again?
Our first “official” family meeting about Mom’s care was in 2020 on Zoom. Everyone had tons of ideas about what needed to happen, but when the call ended, no specific tasks had been assigned to anyone else. I walked away with a very long to-do list — and felt completely overwhelmed.
Six weeks later my husband, my brother, and I finally finished moving Mom out of the home she’d owned for over 40 years (yes, 40 years of memories). The three of us handled most of the packing, sorting, and cleaning ourselves. We were physically and emotionally drained.
That experience woke up the business-director side of my brain. For over two decades I’d successfully run companies using short, focused, management-style meetings built on one thing: a clear agenda with assigned tasks, due dates, and follow-up. (Follow-up is the key!)
Most families avoid structure because it feels too formal or too heavy. When I started bringing that same simple structure to our family calls, everything changed — night and day. Siblings who used to stay quiet began volunteering, tasks got claimed naturally, resentment faded, and we actually left calls feeling like a real team.
That’s exactly what I now share with my private clients (and the results still amaze me).
Here’s the exact agenda I hand them — so you can skip the trial-and-error and go straight to what works.
The Exact Agenda I Give My Private Clients (Steal It)
Purpose: Get everyone on the same page, divide the load fairly, leave feeling like a team, and keep the meeting short and focused.
Open with Gratitude (2–3 minutes)
Short prayer, moment of silence, or go around and say one thing you love about Mom/Dad/our loved one. Instantly lowers defenses.
Current Reality Check (5 minutes)
Calm, factual update only — no opinions yet:
• Latest from doctors or care team
• Upcoming appointments or changes
• The one biggest challenge right now
Daily & Weekly Needs Snapshot (5 minutes)
Show the real workload (don’t just tell):
• Medications, meals, bathing, safety
• Emotional or behavioral triggers
• Housekeeping/laundry
• Managing finances or mail
• Tech support (TV remote, phone, Zoom calls with grandkids)
Visual aid hack: Pull out your Caregiver’s Go-Bag binder or share your weekly routine sheet on screen. When siblings actually see the 27-step medication chart, the “Oh wow, that’s a lot” lightbulb moment happens instantly.
Who Can Do What – Honest Commitments Only (10–15 minutes)
Go task by task. Silence is okay. Write names and due dates in real time:
• Doctor visits & transportation
• Grocery runs or meal prep
• Bills, paperwork, or insurance calls
• Respite shifts or overnight stays
• Regular check-in calls or companionship
Whatever stays blank becomes your crystal-clear list of where outside help is truly needed — making the next section feel easy instead of overwhelming.
Outside Help Needs & Options (5 minutes)
What help is needed? One person carrying the load isn’t sustainable. Shared support protects the whole family.
Who to contact:
• Home-care agencies
• Respite programs
• Church or community help
• Eldercare Locator: https://eldercare.acl.gov
Next Steps & Follow-Up (5 minutes)
• What has to happen this week and who owns it
• Schedule the next meeting before anyone leaves
Close with Appreciation (2 minutes)
Thank every person for showing up — even the quiet ones. End on hope.
QUOTE BOX
Non-Negotiable Ground Rules (read these out loud at the start)
• 45 minutes max — we’re solving today, not rewriting history
• Past guilt and blame stay in the past
• We focus on what’s best for Mom/Dad, not who’s “right”
• “I can’t right now” is a perfectly valid answer — no guilt trips
Here’s exactly what the printable one-page agenda looks like:
[Image of your Canva agenda sheet here]
Caption: The pretty one-page printable your family will actually use
Ready for your next family meeting to actually work (and feel good)?
[Click here to grab the free printable Family Meeting Agenda + Ground Rules cheat sheet — instant PDF, no junk, unsubscribe anytime]
I wish someone had handed me this back in 2020. My clients (and you!) don’t have to wish — they just print it, use it, and watch the magic happen.
You’ve got this, my friend!
As your family comes together, you’ll feel the load ease in your mind, body, and soul — one productive meeting at a time.
P.S. The first time we used this agenda, my sister who we hadn’t heard from in months came to visit Mom for the first time in two years. I almost cried. You’re one 45-minute call away from that moment too.