When Caregiving Feels Crushing: The Very First Thing to Do #1

You just got the diagnosis, the discharge papers, or realized mom can’t live alone anymore.

Suddenly every decision, every task, every worry is on your shoulders—and it feels like way more than any one person should have to carry.

I’ve been there. That first week (or month) I walked around with a constant knot in my stomach, convinced I had to fix everything at once or we would both fall apart.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me on day one:

The most important thing right now is NOT solving everything.

It’s simply finding the ground beneath your feet again.

Even 60 seconds of calm can shift the day from chaos toward clarity.

Here’s the exact mini-reset I use (and now teach every new caregiver I coach):

• Pause and Breathe

Close your eyes, drop your shoulders, and take three slow breaths. That’s it. Your nervous system will thank you.

• Name the 1–3 Most Urgent Things

Grab a scrap of paper and write down only what truly can’t wait until tomorrow. Everything else goes on a “later” list.

• Break Them into Baby Steps

Ask: “What’s the very first tiny action I can take on this?” Then the next. And the next.

• Ask for One Piece of Help—Right Now

Text a friend: “Can you pick up milk and bread today?” or “Can you sit with Mom for 30 minutes Thursday?” One yes lightens the entire load.

• Celebrate the Tiny Wins

You took a breath. You made a short list. You asked for help. That’s huge. You already have everything you need for this moment—you just gave yourself room to use it.

You’re not required to solve the whole journey in this one moment.

Just the next right step.

As you find your footing, the weight starts feeling a little less crushing—and you’ll care for your loved one (and yourself) with energy you didn’t think was possible.

Feeling brand-new to caregiving and the weight is already too much?[CLICK HERE] – [BLOG LINK: #2 – New to Caregiving 101] – Practical ways to catch your breath when the days feel impossible.